Christmas Cheer Can Kiss My Arse
by Shinko
Summary: Draco Malfoy, Mr. Anti-Christmas, meets up with Harry Potter in the Three Broomsticks. Could Harry be the one to give Draco a gift that he might actually enjoy?
1. Butterbeer and Civility

Christmas Cheer Can Kiss My Arse

Shinko

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot.

Dedicated: Pathetic Invader

Draco Malfoy was not a happy boy normally, but he was even more unhappy when Christmas came around. He didn't think it was the bright lights, the caroling, the decorations, or the shopping, but it was the Christmas cheer that really got to him. It was that Christmas feeling, the one where he was compelled to do nice things. Draco Malfoy did not do 'nice' things, it said so in the Malfoy Family Rule Book, and Draco Malfoy would never break the family rules, rule number 1 was 'A Malfoy must never break the Malfoy rules.' So, no, Draco would not do that. 

Draco trudged through the slush on the Hogsmeade streets trying to get to the Three Broomsticks, where he felt he would order a nice, hot, soothing Butterbeer. When he finally made it through the mass of students and through the doors, he sat at the seat farthest from the door. Madame Rosemerta glided over towards him, her high heels clacking nosily on the ground. "What do you want darling?" She purred. He glanced up at her and gave his order. When she returned with his Butterbeer, he smiled and handed her eight sickles. "That should do." Was all he said before he returned to his brooding. He was soon drawn out of it again when he heard the door ring and saw the Holy Trinity walk through the door. He immediately narrowed his eyes and followed their every move. If there was one thing Draco hated more than Christmas, it was the Golden Boy, the Weasel, and the Mudblood. They sat near him at a table in the corner, where they laughed and increased his unhappiness to a maximum. He turned back to his Butterbeer once he was convinced they hadn't seen him. He sat in silence holding the steaming drink in his glove-coated hand, until the Golden Boy walked over towards him at the counter to make an order. Draco tried to hide, really he did, but Harry Potter saw him in spite of his efforts to remain among the shadows. Draco Malfoy really didn't feel like dealing with the Trinity at the moment. Harry Potter gave his order to Madame Rosemerta and took a seat next to Draco waiting for his order. "Malfoy." Was all he said. Draco didn't reply Potter hadn't attacked him yet, so he didn't know what to say. "How are you Malfoy?" Harry asked politely when he realized Draco wouldn't respond. That question shocked Draco Malfoy to the core, never in his life had he heard Harry Potter show some civility towards Draco. "I'm fine, I suppose. Yourself?" The words that flowed from his mouth bordered rudeness. "I'm all right." Harry replied as though it was the most normal thing he could have done. "What are you doing here?" Harry asked Draco when he noticed Draco's eye twitch slightly. "I'm following out Voldemort's orders to hex all the toys into mind control after I finish my Butterbeer." Draco replied smartly. He was getting a bit fed up with Potter. Draco expected Harry to back off at the mention of Voldemort, but was proven wrong when Harry laughed at his joke. "You have wit." Draco just about died at that. It was then that Madame Rosemerta came with three Butterbeers and handed them to Harry. "Have a nice day Harry-dear." She said in the warm, mother-like term that older women gave to the Golden Boy. Harry turned to Draco, nodded his head and then left to rejoin his friends. 

Draco was now not only an unhappy boy, but a very confused one as well.

A/N: This is to be continued, and if you people would be nice enough a couple of reviews would be nice. 

-Shinko


	2. The Message

Christmas Cheer Can Kiss My Arse

Chapter Two: The Message

Shinko

Disclaimer: You know I own everything, right?

Dedicated: To my dearest Invader

Before the end A/N: I rewrote the ending of Chapter 1 to suit the plot better, I will try to lengthen the upcoming chapters, but that might take longer than my whole one chapter a day. I myself am one of those people who hate to wait for new chapters for extended periods, so I try to get mine written and out pretty quickly. 

Later on that evening when the teachers rounded up the students for their return to Hogwarts Draco was still baffled on the 'conversation' as he had come to call it. He was terribly confused and didn't understand what had overcome Potter to actually speak to him, civil words to him. Frankly, this pissed Draco off. Draco Malfoy hated many things in life, such as Christmas and Harry Potter, and those things never changed. Harry Potter was un-yinging the yang. Draco brooded about this all-night and part of the next day until breakfast where he found another topic to brood about. 

Draco walked into the great hall, his uniform was in correct order, his blond hair was nicely combed, his shoes were shined, he prayed that Harry would not be civil today. He prayed that he wouldn't have to lay eyes on Harry Potter that day, he didn't think he could handle it. Draco sat down and took a piece of toast from the stack and smothered it in strawberry jam. The other Slytherins filed in one by one and started to disturb his peace. He was soon swept into conversations with Blaise Zabini over the IQ of the Gryffindors, Marcus Flint's younger brother over Quidditch and Pansy over the long-standing disagreement to date her. He felt his spirits rising a bit until the post came.

The owls poured in from the windows darkening the room for a moment. His eagle owl practically dive-bombed him with his newspaper, and all the letters from his pen pals and his weekly check-up letter from his mother. He believed that all men should keep contact with their mothers, even if they were as daft and brainless as his own mother was. He quickly shoved his letters and paper aside; he would read them in no one's company, but his own. Why should all the other Slytherins be allowed to know what goes on in Draco Malfoy's personal life? The majority of the owls had left when a snow-white owl swooped gracefully down in front of him. He recognized this owl immediately. After many years of trying to get this very owl to mail hate letters to it's owner he would cry if he wasn't able to recognize it. OK, maybe he wouldn't cry. Rule number 2 of the Malfoy Family Rule Book™ was 'A Malfoy must never cry.' So, no, Draco would not do that. He stared at Harry Potter's owl until it pecked at his hand. Draco Malfoy lifted a shaky hand to the bird and untied the small piece of rolled parchment from the bird's leg. He unrolled the parchment to stare at the scrawl of a boy who spent 10 years of his life living in a dark cupboard. He stared at Harry Potter's handwriting. 

__

Malfoy,

Meet me at the bottom of the Astronomy Stairwell at 12 sharp tonight.

Yours truly,

HP

Draco rolled up the parchment and shoved it into his breast pocket and finished his toast in wonder. Tonight at 12, some sort of duel? Draco hated to be confused; it was perhaps listed third on his 'Things that I hate, and things I have to annihilate list.' ™ Against his judgment Draco Malfoy decided to meet Harry Potter. After all, Draco Malfoy had to know what was going on. 

A/N: I got reviews. I GOT REVIEWS! You have no idea how happy you guys made me! 

Irish Lass: Yeah, I know about the paragraphs. I put them in the original, but when it got to FFN something screwed itself over, and I'm not originally that good with paragraphs and I don't have a beta yet so there are bound to be mistakes. Don't worry about Harry being too nice though, I won't have him too OOC. ^__^

Siobhan: I'm so glad that you think it's intriguing, you have no idea how I've longed for someone to say that!

ForceMuette: I am thinking about maybe 1 or 2 more chapters to finish this, the Evil Plot Bunnies From Hell were gnawing on my mind so I had to get this down. 

ShadowJardis: Thank you so much, and I did try on formatting this time, in the last chapter I don't know what happened. __ 

Kei- Kei: Don't worry! I will finish it! I will, I promise. Thanks for your review!

Janey: I expect to have a new chapter out every night, if my schoolwork allows me. I love writing season fiction. It's so much fun to write about my favorite characters playing in the snow, or carving pumpkins. ^__^ 

Leggy-Stinks: You'll find out all in good time.

Ami Lee Rose: Have no fear, Shinko is here! ^__^ As I've promised above I will continue! Thanks so much for the review!

Your Silencer: Thank you very much! And as requested I did write the second chapter. It is above! ^__^ 

Gem: I'm hoping that people like it, and I will keep it up. Thanks for your review!

Tajuki: I am so happy that you think so. I strive for original plots and it's hard seeing that there are so many fics out there. Thanks for you review!

If there are any of you reviewers that I forgot I promise to put you on the next chapter and thank you with extra hugs and kisses and shower you in love. 


	3. The Present

Christmas Cheer Can Kiss My Arse

Chapter 3: The Present

Shinko

Disclaimer: I don't think I even need to put this anymore…but, here it goes; I own nothing except for the Malfoy Family Rule Book, The list of things I hate and things I must annihilate, and I own the snitch alarm. 

Before the Story A/N: I officially want to notify you all that I love you, and that this is the last chapter. Hope you like it.

Dedicated: The same person it's been dedicated to for the past two chapters.

At 11:50, Draco Malfoy heard his small snitch alarm take flight and flap around his head beeping annoyingly. The snitch's beeping bothered nobody else seeing as Draco Malfoy had silencing spells cast around his four-poster. Draco Malfoy liked his privacy; it made suitable brooding conditions. He broke into consciousness as most do when being forced by a loud beeping, violently. He kicked the covers off of himself and shot his hand straight up to catch the small, beeping ball. The snitch alarm had been a 'present' from his father, "Maybe your low quality Quidditch skills will improve if you are forced to catch the snitch to shut off the sound," is what Lucius had said as he handed it to Draco. Draco had grown accustomed to hearing the alarm, but had not grown to like it; he doubted he ever would. Over time Draco had certainly gotten better at catching the annoying, little ball, but Harry Potter still was always a bit better. 

Draco rubbed the wings of the snitch and it's sound slowly wound down as it relaxed into the sensation Draco's hand was giving it. The snitch was like a cat being petted. It was sort of cute. After the snitch was taken care of he open his drapes and walked unsteadily to the trunk at the end of his bed. He picked out a robe that was thick and warm. Draco Malfoy did not like the cold at all. It was the curse of the skinny; the cold always sunk through to his bones, chilling his core. Draco had to make himself comfortable; it was in the Malfoy Family Rule Book™ under number 4, it stated that all Malfoys' must strive to make themselves comfortable at all times. Draco would never go against the rule book. 

On Draco's way out he grabbed his wand, he didn't want to be caught off guard. He made his way out the common room and down many hallways. He passed many statues and many teachers patrolling the corridors. He brooded upon the letter and what Harry Potter might want with him at this ungodly hour. 

When Draco finally reached the stairwell it was 12: 03. Fashionable late he thought. He looked around for Harry, it seemed a bit rude that he wasn't there when he himself had issued the time and place. He began to think back to his first year when he had challenged Harry to a duel and hadn't showed up, he had tricked Harry and had nearly gotten him caught. Draco wondered if perhaps Harry could be giving Draco a dose of his own medicine. It was at that moment when he felt something clamp down over his mouth, stopping his surprised cry and a body pressed firmly to his backside. Then he heard a voice next to his ear and felt warm breath on his neck; "You're late Malfoy." Draco Malfoy relaxed slightly realizing it was Harry, who had grabbed him, then stiffened because he couldn't see Harry. Harry released him and Draco turned staring blindly into the darkness. "Where are you?" He asked the darkness. Harry gave up his position and pulled the cloak from his body. Harry had been standing there the whole time, watching him. This scared Draco, he didn't like being spied upon. "I'm surprised you showed," Harry said to him. "I didn't think you'd show." Draco narrowed his eyes. "What did you want anyway?" Draco spat acidly. Harry stared at him for a moment in silent contemplation. "To give you your Christmas present Draco." Draco's jaw fell open. He was shocked; it was a double hit. First off Harry had said he wanted to give him a present, secondly, he had called Draco not Malfoy, but Draco. Would wonders never cease? If he had thought Harry was un-yinging the yang earlier now Harry was downright yanging the un-ying. Draco looked at Harry is disbelief. "I'll need you to close your eyes though." Harry told him. Draco glared warily at Harry. Harry noticed, "You can trust me Draco," There he went again, calling him Draco. "I don't kick people while they're down." This was true. Harry Potter was the most Gryffindork-like person he had ever met. He reluctantly closed his eyes. He felt Harry covering them both with the cloak. He felt Harry's hands on his shoulders and he felt the slight push from Harry as he urged them along. They must have walked in circles because Draco couldn't tell which direction was which any longer, on and on they walked through the halls, and corridors, and passages. On and on in silence. 

Finally Harry stopped. He heard a door creak and was pushed slightly inside. Harry whispered to him that he could open his eyes now. As Draco did so the sight sickened him. A small room decorated heavily in red and green. There was a small Christmas tree; there was a fire in the fireplace, and even a large bed in the corner of room. Draco looked around taking in the sight and he sniffed the air. What was that, apple cider? Draco was mortified. He turned to Harry who was looking at him expectantly. "Well?" He asked. Draco's left eye twitched. "I hate Christmas." Harry looked slightly crestfallen for a moment and then recovered himself. "You do?" Draco nodded. "I hate it with every fiber of my being." Draco spoke honestly. Harry looked straight into his eyes and said, "Well then. I'll have to teach you how to like it." And with those words he leaned into Draco and captured his lips with his own. Draco tried to get away, really, he did, but as always, against Harry, his attempts were not good enough. He soon melted into the kiss, and found himself enjoying it. Harry broke the kiss to gasp for air. "Are you warming up to the Christmas Cheer now Draco?" He asked, face flushed. "Christmas cheer can kiss my arse." 

Draco would never feel the same about Christmas again.

A/N: I am done and I have reviews! For me it feels as though Christmas has come early. I thank you guys with all my heart.

To all those I didn't get to in chapter 1-

Tinetinytina: I hope you liked it. It was so much fun to write.

Canceria: That was partially the point of the title. I wanted to lure in a ton of readers for my debut fic. I'm also glad you like the narration. I don't normally write like that, but decided to take a chance with it. I'm glad to know it was a success.

Jay Kamiya: I hoped you enjoyed this fic, I love it when people are happy about what I do.

Rikka: My dear buddy. You know I love you for the whole "It's the best thing since sliced bread" comment ne? Thanks for liking it. I'm sure you've seen how excited I get with things like this. After all you have had to sit next to me at lunch this past week. ^__^ Sorry for the grief I caused.

And now to my dear chapter two reviewers:

Shadow's Light: You have no idea how happy I was reading that review. I bragged about it all day to my friends at school. I'm so glad you think that I'm good.

Jade Dragon: I am the happiest thing alive. I think I enjoyed the Malfoy Rules and the lines as much as everyone else did; I've been thinking about the Malfoy Rules forever and thought they should make their debut. I also liked the whole un-yinging the yang line too. I put in the "Yanging the un-ying" in for you. 

Hp-Lover420: I tried to make this chapter longer without making it too boring. I like descriptions, but too much can be a bad, bad thing. Thanks for the review!

Fanny chan: DOMO ARIGATO! I was giggling as I wrote this thing, it was too much fun for little old Shinko to handle. 

Zahrah Radcliffe: Thanks for loving it, it means like so much to me. I know I've said it a thousand times up above, but really it's a grand-I'm-the-Queen-of-the-Friggin-World-so-don't-mess-with-the-Shinko feeling. 

Jaded Green: A good read? My God, a good read to me is like something I can curl up with in my bed and read before I fall asleep thing. You just compared me to my standard of good read? If so I now officially love you.

Artie: I thought it was a bit obvious that Harry just wanted to snog the hell out of Draco. ^_^ And the answers that you had sought are above. Thank you so much!

Kei-Kei: I tried to get them out as fast as possible. I hate to wait. I have not patience whatsoever. Thanks for reading it. 

Rosa: I'm EVIL! -dances- Muah. I have always wanted to be evil, it's just so much fun. And I am a dirty HxD fan as well. I'm sorry that this is still short, I promise that in future stories the chapters will be longer, but they might take a little longer to produce. Thanks for liking it. I LOVE YOU!

Kristin: I wrote more, as requested! I'm glad that you are so enthusiastic! ^__^ Thank you so much.


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